


i like you (what can i do?)

by debutstage



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Australia, Bang Chan & Seo Changbin are Best Friends, Coming Out, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Secret dating, Slow Burn, at least for me, chanlix are brothers, felix and changbin are secret gays, hyunjin jeongin and minho are only characters in a story in a story, i physically cannot write them any other way, it gets emotional at the end, omg what a cute tag, on track/even a fool knows is a kdrama in the story, slight angst, slight homophobia, they visit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:47:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23727793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/debutstage/pseuds/debutstage
Summary: Three months after having moved to Korea, Felix's older brother has more friends than he can count and Felix can barely mutter a sentence in Korean. So when Chan (previously known as Chris) brings his wildly cute friend home, Felix considers making him a tutor. But it'd be weird to date your brother's best friend... right?(or, felix falls head over heels for the man known as changbin and does everything in his power to court him.)
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 23
Kudos: 224





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW HERE'S THIS i've never written something as wordy as this and that's saying something since this is still pretty brief but.... i hope y'all enjoy this
> 
> a bit of a slow start but have faith in me plz

Felix held up his hand to admire his now pink fingernails. Just yesterday they were a vibrant blue, but his sister wanted to paint them again. It was her coping mechanism to deal with the stress of living in a new country that, in theory, they shouldn’t feel out of place in, but they do. Felix was happy to play the older brother role regardless.

Their eldest sibling, Chan (as he started going by recently; Felix still impulsively calls him Chris from time to time and absolutely refuses to go by  _ Yongbok _ ) had a late-afternoon class that was in the sweet spot right between when his younger siblings got home from school and before his parents got back from work. That meant Felix was by default the elder in the house and he enjoyed that. It was new, but it felt like the one thing in his life right now that he could have control of.

His parents insisted that the kids practice Korean whenever they have downtime, but quite frankly he was still bitter that he didn’t know it already. Chris– Chan– was the only one of the four siblings that could fluently speak and comprehend Korean. After Felix was born, their parents slowly stopped using Korean with the kids and as a result, each sibling knew less and less the younger they got. That also means that Felix is the ‘most fluent’ after Chr– Chan, but that just means he can understand it well, but never knows how to respond. His mom will ask him  _ bab meogeosseo? _ and he’ll reply  _ yeah, I had some ramen. _ Olivia was more or less at the same level as him, being as she’s just a year younger, but the baby of the family, 13 year-old Hannah, the genius behind Felix’s rotating fingernail colors, knew little to nothing outside of basic phrases.

They had only lived in Korea for around three months and it wasn’t too bad. Hannah was too young to go off anywhere by herself anyway, so she never had any problems. Unlike the rest of them, she was in an international school, just until she could feel more comfortable with Korean to go to another. Supposedly, the main reason they moved here to begin with was to ‘better their education’ or whatever. That’s why Chan was attending an esteemed university and the middle two were at a decently-regraded high school.

“Look, I’m not saying you  _ have  _ to do anything just if,  _ if _ you were given the opportunity, you wouldn’t be at least a little curious about how it tastes?”

“My siblings are here, let’s end this discussion.”

Three university students came barreling through their front door: one rambling loudly about some unknown topic, one dressed in dark colors, and one familiar face that makes this invasion not a break-in. The loud one was Han Jisung, if Felix remembered correctly. He was particularly close with his brother, but the other one is new. Felix knew that Chan, being the social butterfly that he is, already had a bunch of friends, but he somehow found a select few that he would make music on the side with (a music major who can’t stop for a second). Perhaps he was one of them.

“Hey kids,” Chan said with affection as his friends flooded in and took off their shoes. “These are my dumb friends, Jisung, Changbin, and these are my dumb siblings, Felix, Hannah. Where’s Olivia?” Hannah bowed her head a bit before scurrying upstairs, potentially feeling threatened from the two (admittedly cute) boys in her living room, despite their warm smiles. Felix’s eyes lingered on this Changbin person.

“Oh, she’s upstairs. She’s studying with one of her friends.”

“And you two were…?”

“None of your business,” Felix said, intentionally holding his hand up to his face to showcase his nails, earning a laugh from his brother. He too, fell victim to Hannah’s nail polish attacks, his nails currently deep red color. Felix’s eyes shoot back to Changbin.

He’s… not very tall. But he’s handsome. He’s wearing so much black, Felix might’ve confused him for a shadow. Dark, flat hair, long face, lazy eyes, slightly tanned skin. He had a quality to him that Felix couldn’t place and he was determined to keep looking at him until he figured it out. Their eyes met and Changbin smiled, a bit crooked. Felix felt his heart rate double.

“– But anyway!” Chan clapped his hands together, presumably ending his chatter with Jisung that Felix tuned out. “We’re off to do some… music things? I know the folks get home soon, but if you need anything until then, don’t hesitate to come get me.” He smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Felix's head, which the younger tried to reject but ultimately failed. He’s always this affectionate, but Felix felt more shy about it when there was an audience.

Jisung said a genuine  _ nice to meet you! _ before following Chan. Changbin waved silently and smiled at him again before disappearing upstairs. Felix hoped it wasn’t the last time he’d see him.

  
  
  
  


The next time the crew arrived (with a name so dumb, Felix pretended he didn’t remember it) was the following week, the same day, a Thursday. It seemed like there was a routine starting.

Felix had a plan this time. Since he couldn’t get that Changbin out of his head, he tried to think of ways to get closer to him. It came to him when Chan and he were out and about, and Felix joked about how he can’t speak Korean when Chan asked him which train to board.

Maybe he could use a teacher.

“Hey Chris, so I was thinking…” he spoke in English in front of the two boys lounging in their living room. “Maybe one of your friends could help me study Korean? Y’know since… they’re university students and I’m like, bad at learning on my own?” He hoped and prayed that his brother would notice his subtle head movements to Changbin. He hadn’t mentioned his little crush on him, nor did Chan really know of his brother’s different ‘orientation,’ but maybe he could be psychologically manipulated.

“Oh! I can help!” Jisung spoke (in English) before Chan could even reply. Wait… What?

“Y… You know English?” Felix said, more disappointment in his voice that he would’ve had the situation been different. He glanced at Changbin who seemed very confused.

“Oh yeah! Jisung studied in Malaysia for a while, so you could communicate easily with him!”

“Hell yeah! I’ll be the best teacher.” He flexed his muscles and winked. Changbin was texting on his phone. Dammit.

  
  
  
  


Okay, plan B. Be a dumb ass– should be easy enough.

“Oh my God, it’s not that difficult.  _ -l geyo _ is when you already decided what to do,  _ -l  _ geo  _ eyo  _ is when you’re less sure about it.”

“Are you kidding me, that’s so dumb!”

“No it’s not!”

It helped that Jisung was a terrible teacher.

“Okay, maybe I’ll find another friend…” Chan said carefully as Jisung and Felix glared at each other at their kitchen table.

_ “Please,”  _ the two said in unison.

“Hmm… Maybe Cha–” The fire in Felix’s eyes was snuffed out almost immediately.

“How about Seungmin? He’s way better at English than me, anyway.” Felix glared again, but it didn’t register with Jisung. Chan snapped his fingers.

“Good idea! I’ll text him.”

Plan B was an ultimate failure.

  
  
  
  


Felix had a harder time with plan C because Seungmin was a  _ really  _ good teacher. He almost forgot about his scheme to begin with since he got so focused on learning. Seungmin was patient, good at explaining things, and could answer almost any question. After the first few lessons, he started to trust Seungmin. Maybe too much.

“Hey, can I ask you something really weird?” Felix said suddenly while Seungmin watched him run through a practice exercise.

“Sure, what’s up?” The boy was just a few days younger than Felix, but he had such a mature aura to him that Felix accidentally called him  _ hyung  _ from time to time.

“Um, how to say this…” He toyed with his pencil as he thought. “I… I think I…” It was at that moment that Felix realized he hadn’t come out to Seungmin yet, and the fear of being hated for his sexuality started boiling in his chest. This was easily one of the worst things about being gay– always having to confess a personal detail of your life in fear that someone might hate you for it. But, he thought about it and hoped that his loving, kind, compassionate brother wouldn’t befriend anyone who wasn’t. Seungmin seemed nice enough, anyway.

“Yes?”

“I have a crush on Changbin and when I asked for a teacher I was hoping Chris– I mean Chan would’ve given me him but he didn’t and I feel bad because you’re actually a really good teacher and I’m… Dumb.” He sighed, dropping his head on his table to hide after his outburst (and also to avoid Seungmin’s gaze).

“Oh. Um.”

“I’m sorry if you think I’m gross or weird or whatever. You can leave if you want.” The words came out muffled and the room fell silent afterward. It was awkward.

“Well. That’s, fine. I can talk to Chan and tell him it wasn’t working out? Maybe suggest Changbin instead, but I’d have to find a good reason to.”

Felix’s head shot up and he’s immediately met with a warm smile.

“I won’t tell him anything either. Okay?”

It was at  _ that  _ moment that Felix realized Kim Seungmin was an angel. Plan C was a success.

  
  
  
  


“Ah–  _ annyeonghaseyo.” _

Felix bowed a little too much, causing both his brother and his crush to laugh quietly at him. He was back in his room with another unofficial teacher, but this one made his chest ache. It had been about a month since they first met and his feelings got nothing but stronger. His face was red and his heart was pounding when Changbin took a seat next to him at his desk. Chan wished them luck (“third time’s a charm!”) and left the two alone.

“I’ll try my best,” he spoke in Korean. His English wasn’t all that great. “Ready?”

First, they had a quick introduction.

“Hi, I’m Seo Changbin. I’m twenty-one years old and I’m studying music production at a university. Nice to meet you.”

“H-Hello, I’m Felix– Er, Yongbok? Does it matter?” Changbin shook his head and gestured for him to continue. “Felix Lee– No,  _ Lee _ Felix. I’m nineteen, and I’m in high school.”

It was basic, sure, but it gave Changbin something to work with. Although, he might’ve mistaken Felix’s stuttering with a lack of knowledge, not nerves

They started with particles, something Jisung said was basic knowledge but Felix found extremely confusing. Nothing quite like it existed in English and it seemed like native speakers didn’t even realize they were using them. Changbin did a pretty good job at explaining them but Felix couldn’t help but stare at him the whole session. The light from the window made him look ethereal, highlighting every curve of his face and washing him over with a golden hue.

“Uh… Is there something on my face?” Changbin chuckled, clearly feeling a bit shy from the other’s gaze. Felix snapped out of it.

“O-Oh, no, sorry, I’m just, distracted, is all. Sorry,” he repeated. “I just, uh. It’s hard for me to learn this way, yknow?” He gestured to the textbook, speaking in broken yet comprehensible Korean. “Being immersed has helped me a lot more, I think.”

“That makes sense.” The older hummed, tapping his pen as his face contorted in thought. He was so cute, God dammit. “What if we watched a movie? That might help.” Felix smiled maybe too wide at that idea. Changbin suggested the equivalent of a teacher throwing on a random film to avoid doing actual work but all Felix heard was  _ movie date. _

“That could work!”

“Then we can take notes and turn them into lessons? And then we can apply what you learned. Oh, maybe a drama would be better, since it’s way longer…” Changbin pulled up a streaming app on his phone and began scrolling through the various shows and movies. “Any of these seem interesting to you?”

Changbin leaned in next to Felix so he could better see the screen. Their faces were inches apart and it didn’t matter that Changbin was focused on the phone in front of him. Felix, staring again, fell silent, and Changbin turned his head to look him in the eyes. The rush of heat his Felix’s face was enough to shoot himself back, frantically looking to shift the focus. He scrolled back up on Changbin’s phone and pointed to any old show.

“Uh, that one seems fine.”

_ “Even a Fool Knows?  _ Oh, I think I’ve heard about that one. It’s a pretty basic love story, so it should be easier to understand than like, a show about wizards and vampires and stuff.”

“A show about what?”

“... Exactly.”

They watch the show. Felix had half a mind to try to make it more “comfortable,” i.e more like a date, considering making snacks and potentially moving to his bed. He was far too nervous to ask that, so he settled for hovering in front of Changbin’s phone propped up on the textbook. Felix still got to be close to him, so he wasn’t too disappointed.

The hyung was right, the plot is really simple. It takes place in a standard high school and has your typical love triangle. Two best friends get torn apart for some cute girl who doesn’t seem very interested in either of them. The main lead has a supportive best friend who seems to be fed up with him. Teenage angst ensues. All that happened in the first 45-minute episode and Felix wondered where the plot could possibly go for the next 15 episodes.

Throughout the episode, while Felix focused all his energy on trying to read the Korean subtitles (Changbin refused English subs, but settled for Korean after some mild begging), Changbin took notes on things that seemed like they could make a good lesson or questions that Felix had. There were times that he got distracted by the story and Felix thought his concentrated face was absolutely adorable.

“It’s… kind of tacky, but it works. How’d you do?” Changbin asked, an array of scribbled in front of him.

“I think I did alright. Listening is usually fine, but speaking it sucks for me.”

“Hopefully this will help? The more you hear, the more you understand how it’s spoken… right?” The uncertainty in his voice was cute. He’s cute. Everything about him is cute.

“Right.”

“Cool, nice.”

Changbin packed up his things and promptly left, leaving the chair in Felix’s bedroom uncomfortably empty. He knew well that this was only their second interaction, but he couldn’t feel more like Changbin didn't give two shits about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> motivate me to finish this pls i'm so close to finishing it!
> 
> hmu on insta or twitter @noraeshua <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoop here this is! things start to pick up just lil in this one..... patience plz

The viewing for episode two was a little more comfortable. They began at the desk again where they reviewed notes from the last episode and walked through a few speaking exercises. Changbin would quote something from the show and have Felix come up with any response he seemed fit, so long as it was more than  _ ne _ or  _ aniyo _ . It worked well.

Changbin had brought his laptop this time and they sat on Felix’s bed, backs against the wall, feet dangling off the edge. There was a pillow in the middle of their laps that served as a stand for the device.

About twenty minutes in, Felix got bored. Perhaps antsy was a better term. He didn’t  _ really  _ want to be taught Korean. He wanted to know this boy who’s thigh was pressed against his own.

“How’d you meet my brother?” he asked suddenly, not bothering to pause the show.

“We’re in the same audio production class.” Changbin seemed focused on the development on screen, but Felix was determined.

“Is it fun?” That got the older to look at him with a confused look, but with a smile regardless. “I guess that’s a stupid question. It’s your major, right?”

“Yeah, it’s something I’ve always been drawn to.”

“Same here, our whole family has always been into the arts.” The female main lead yelled at the male lead, Hyunjin, for something Felix couldn’t quite place. He didn’t ask about it, though, to avoid breaking up the conversation.

“Chan is super into sports too. Is that a family thing too?”

“Eh, kinda? I mean, I do taekwondo and my sisters do swimming too, but that’s about it.” Changbin nodded, writing down another quick note about something Felix absolutely was not paying attention to.

“I’ve talked about this to your brother a lot, but is Australia super different from Korea, or–”

“Oh my  _ God, _ yes.” Changbin laughed, eyes still focused on the screen. Felix wondered why he wasn’t making eye contact. “It’s like– Literally every single thing is different, it’s been so hard to adjust. Like, yeah, we’re Korean  _ physically _ , but I feel like I know nothing about the culture, you know?” The older nodded again.

“I feel like I could say the same about Australia.”

“You’re not missing much. I mean–” Changbin laughed a lot harder at that, turning his head away and covering his mouth with his hand. It was such a beautiful sight, an extremely pleasant sound. Felix couldn’t help but laugh too. “No, listen! I love Australia, but our culture isn’t as rich as Korea’s. Does that make sense?” He nodded (again), still laughing.

“Sure, sure. I still want to visit sometime.”

“We’re planning on going back for summer break. Maybe you could come with us?” He tried not to sound too excited.

“Really? That’d be awesome!” Changbin smiled his crooked smile and Felix’s heart shattered into a dozen pieces.

“I’ll definitely ask my parents about it!”

After that, they rewinded a few minutes to catch up on what they spoke over, but continued to banter lightly regardless. It finally felt like Felix was chipping away at that wall that Changbin had up. And it felt  _ so  _ good.

  
  
  
  


Session three– if you could call it that– was Felix’s favorite to date.

He had brought up the proposition of bringing Changbin along for their vacation during their family dinner that same night and everyone was in agreement, so long as he could pay for his own ticket. Chan said he’d ask Jisung if he wanted to tag along, too, which wasn’t totally part of the plan, but would definitely make Felix look less suspicious. He relayed the details to Changbin at the start of the session and he was ecstatic, not at all swayed by the idea of shelling out however much money for a ticket. Excitement started sparking in Felix's chest.

They only studied for maybe ten minutes before Felix complained.

“God, no offense, hyung, but I  _ really  _ don’t want to study today. Can we do it some other time?”

He had a plan, of course.

“Oh, sure. I guess that’s fine.”

“How about instead…” He pointed to his Nintendo Switch, idly charging in the corner of his room– “I kick your ass in Mario Kart?” Changbin rolled his eyes and laughed confidently, his energy quickly shifting into competitive mode.

“Not a chance. Let’s do it.”

Almost frantically, Felix set up his Switch on its flimsy kickstand atop his desk, handing Changbin the red Joy-Con (aka the worse one).

“Really? Yoshi? Couldn’t be more creative than that?” Felix teased, scrolling through Rosalina’s different bikes.

“Hey, he’s iconic as hell and he deserves his time in the spotlight.”  _ Scoff. _

“Yeah okay, keep making excuses.”

Turns out Changbin was absolute garbage at Mario Kart, spinning out on a banana one second and driving off a cliff the next. Felix passed the finish line in first place before Changbin even started the final lap.

_ “Not a chance–” _ Felix said in a mocking tone. “Not a chance that you can even finish the course?” Changbin grumbled and didn’t respond, running into a fake item box head-on.

The next course, Felix got right to the finish line on the last lap and waited as every other car passed them, just to shoot forward right before Changbin, landing eleventh place.

“Yah! You dick!” Felix couldn’t hold back his laughter despite being put into a chokehold by his hyung. He slipped from his seat and had to balance himself by bracing his arm on Changbin’s lap. It was warm, Changbin was warm. His back was pressed against his chest and for a brief second, he could feel his heartbeat. There was no way it was beating as fast as Felix’s.

  
  
  
  


“Field trip!” Changbin burst into their house as if he lived there. Chan pulled off his chunky headphones from where he sat at the computer, Olivia looked up from her phone, and Hannah smeared orange nail polish all over Felix’s index finger.

“Excuse me?” said the eldest. “Also, how’d you get in?”

“Don’t worry about it–” he waved his hand before pointing at Felix. “You,  _ haksaeng _ . Today’s lesson is gonna be a field trip. Get on your shoes and let's go.”

“Can I finish his nails first?” Hannah asked in a quiet, nervous voice. Her gentle nature was impossible to say no to.

“Only if you can do mine afterward.” Changbin winked and took a seat on the floor next to Felix. Chan smiled, Hannah’s face lit up, and Felix felt his affection multiply tenfold. He gazed at Changbin as if he was the only person in the world. Is this what it feels like to fall in love? “Do you have black?”

Twenty minutes and one bowl of ice water later, Felix and Changbin were off on their field trip with two pairs of polished hands. Felix was always talking about “immersion, immersion, immersion,” so Changbin wanted to put him to the test. It’s not like Felix was necessarily struggling with the language anymore– the two have had rather deep conversations before, but he’s still a bit slow. Not only that, but his Korean knowledge seems to disappear when he’s around a stranger, like his close friends and family were the only people who could understand him. Changbin hoped to fix this by taking him around downtown.

“Can’t believe you’ve been  _ this  _ close to Garosugil and have never visited yet. It’s like, the place you have to go before you can say you’ve lived in Korea.”

“That seems awfully dramatic.”

They walked side by side down the street, passing all different kinds of stores. There was a clothing store that displayed a mannequin wearing an outfit that probably cost more than Felix would make in a year at his part-time job. They passed a cute skincare store whose building looked like a sunny side up egg. After wandering for who knows how many blocks, Changbin settled them in for an outside lunch break.

“Read me this whole menu as fast as you can,” said the  _ seonsaengnim, _ sliding the laminated booklet across the table.

“Easy.”

Korean is a bitch to read.

Felix squinted at the menu and carefully read out each product, the meaning of the words registering half a second too late. This was his biggest struggle in school, too, always having to ask someone to read his assignments to him or use audiobooks. He’d been trying hard to not use those crutches anymore, but now’s a good a time as any to practice.

“Faster.”

The command startled him, but he did as he was told, attempting to speedread the list placed before him, fumbling as he did so.

“Faster!”

He tried his best to speed up, but his concentration broke when he heard someone snickering under their breath at him. It was Changbin. Turns out people were staring and he was just trying to embarrass him.

“Hyung!” He used the menu as a weapon and slapped said hyung’s shoulder with it, just seconds before the waiter came back out to take their orders that they hadn’t prepared.

Lunch was relatively relaxing. Changbin dropped the teacher schtick for a moment and just became his friend. He ranted on and on about school and the restrictive nature of an assignment they were given. Felix tried to empathize with his own school work, though it wasn’t nearly as interesting. Things had gotten very comfortable with them since they first began.

After eating an obscene amount of fried chicken, the two moved further down the street to peruse various clothing stores. One had a much more edgy fashion sense than Felix’s, mostly because it matched Changbin’s perfectly. The walls were styled to look like they were worn down and the flooring was pitch black, the many scratches reflecting light to make it not seem like a bottomless pit.

“Which do you like better?” He held up two black T-shirts, one with a simple red design, the other with a simple yellow design. Felix blinked.

“They’re exactly the same.”

Changbin ended up buying both.

The next clothing store was the polar opposite, much more suited to Felix’s tastes. Instead of aggressive underground rap, a cheerful IU song rained over the bright pastels and warm hues. He got too excited by all these options (“So different from Australia!”) and insisted that Changbin let him try some on. Moments later, he emerged from the dressing room in a white shirt with a pink and blue design underneath a light denim jacket with embroidered details on the back.

“Whatcha think?” He did a spin and posed, holding an L-shape under his chin. Changbin had been waiting expectantly, his phone face-down on the table next to the small cushion he sat on. With a subtle grin, he held his fingers up as if he was a photographer trying to perfect a shot.

“Nice! Good! Perfect! Amazing!” he said in English as he moved around Felix, pretending to take pictures as the latter continued to model for him. “I like!” His approval was all Felix needed, so he changed back into his original outfit and made a purchase.

The sun was just starting to set, the sky becoming a comforting orange color, and they realized they had been on this ‘field trip’ for way too long. Chan texted his brother and asked if he was going to make it to dinner. He thought for a second and looked at Changbin who was recounting a story about Jisung embarrassing himself in public, smiling, laughing. He had a beautiful side profile, pointed chin, sharp jaw. His eyes were peeking out from under the brim of his cap and Felix could've sworn there specks of gold in them, shining like precious gems under the sunlight. Felix texted back and told them to go ahead without him.

They stopped in a coffee shop momentarily before going back out to see the world. Changbin was surprised at Felix’s americano order and Felix shamed him for profiling him based off his clothing. Changbin insisted that they go to the Han river which was a bit away via the subway, but they were in no rush. Felix was starting to suspect that maybe,  _ just maybe, _ Changbin wanted to spend time with him too, and wasn’t actually trying to make this an educational field trip. But, there’s no way… right?

Using the subway in Korea was scary at first, but now Felix is a natural. It only took a few minutes before they had settled into their seats, on the way to the river. It wasn’t too far, but with all the stops it was to take around twenty or so minutes. Admittedly at this point, he was getting a bit tired from running around all day. Being able to sit down and enjoy the quiet of the train, sans the noisy announcer over the speaking, made him sleepy. It wouldn’t hurt to shut his eyes for a bit. With each passing minute, he slowly felt himself drifting off, his head awkwardly bobbing along with the rest of the car. He was just about to knock out when he felt a hand on his head, gently pushing it down to rest on someone’s shoulder. Changbin’s shoulder. He pretended to remain asleep but in reality, he had never been more alert in his life. He felt Changbin’s fingers brush hair from his face and carefully readjust his jacket so that it wasn’t falling off his shoulder.

That was platonic. It had to be platonic. Chan would do something like that for him, too. But maybe that’s different because they’re brothers? That wouldn’t have happened with his other friends. In his head, he went down a line of all his friends and yep, none of them would do that. But it was surely just friendly, right? Right.

They stayed like that for the rest of the ride, Changbin careful not to move to avoid disrupting Felix despite that his chances of sleeping had long left him. When the robo-voice announced their stop was coming up, Changbin very gently tapped Felix’s shoulder to ‘wake him up,’ summoning Actor Yongbok to do his best performance.

It was significantly darker when they got out of the station, still bright enough to not require streetlights but there wasn’t any color in the sky anymore.

“Did you have a good nap?” Changbin teased.

“Haha… Yeah…”

He had never been here before so he had to follow Changbin like a lost puppy. It was weird how much of Seoul he hadn’t seen before, even if he didn’t live in the heart of it. They walked aways down another road, passing multiple lovey-dovey couples on dates. There was a second of  _ do we look like a couple? _ before Felix realized that they’re both men, so obviously not. They walked over a giant arching bridge that Changbin said was quite the tourist spot. It was lit up with vibrant and colorful lights that would change with time. They stopped at the peak of the arch, a few other couples around them. All couples. Wow that’s a lot of couples.

This isn’t a date. Can’t be.

“My family would always take my sister and I here when we were younger just to see the lights. It was mind blowing as a kid.” Changbin leaned over the edge of the barrier, slouching over his crossed arms as he looked over the expanse of water before him. He’s breathtaking. Felix fell in place next to him. “We’d always run back and forth along the bridge and race each other, but only when it was relatively empty. It kinda pissed our parents off but they let us anyway.”

“Holy shit, that’s a long way to race,” he comments, looking from one end of the bridge to the other. It had to be at least a quarter of a mile. Changbin laughed, readjusting his hat.

“I know, right? That’s why our parents tried to stop us but we were so full of energy, we couldn’t help ourselves.” Felix couldn’t hold back his smile.

“That’s kinda cute.” They shared a silent moment as they watched the waves beneath them. “Where’s your sister now?”

“She moved out a few years ago to go to a university she really wanted to attend. I try to meet up with her every now and then, but we’re both so busy. Kinda sucks, but I guess that’s life.” Felix nodded in agreement, toying with a loose thread on his sleeve. “I’m sure you know that feeling way more than I do, mister  _ hoju _ .”

“Oh God, of course.” He made jokes a lot, but a wave of longing hit him every time someone mentioned Australia.

“Do you still keep in touch with your friends back home?”

“Hmm, kinda? I still have them on social media and stuff, but we don’t text as much anymore. I didn’t know how much I relied on face-to-face interaction for my friendships until I couldn’t do it anymore.”

“Do you get homesick a lot?” Changbin looked at him, finally, but Felix kept his gaze forward, slumping forward to rest his chin on his arms. He focused on the way the stars reflected off the water.

“Sometimes. I do really like it here but, you know. There’s no place like home.” He sighed internally, subtly. Changbin kept his eyes on him. “I feel so lost here sometimes. Australia, Sydney is so comforting for me and again, I didn’t realize it until I was on the plane. I know it’s only June and we’ve barely even been here half a year, but I don’t know when I’ll ever get used to it.” He didn’t mean to get so vulnerable with him, but he felt so safe with Changbin. He trusted him. He felt like Sydney.

Changbin slung an arm around Felix’s shoulders, pulling him in close. Instinctively, he went through the cycle of feelings every time he did whenever Changbin so much as looked at him a certain way– heart racing, cheeks warming, legs weakening. But this time he tried to bury all that down and enjoy the moment he might not get again. He turned to smile at Changbin, reaching back to pat his back in response. No further conversation was needed to convey what they were trying to express.

That was the last straw. Felix was definitely in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOO WE GOING TO AUSTRALIA NEXT CHAPTER YAAAALL
> 
> if you enjoy it plz let me know! my insta/twit is @noraeshua <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW THIS IS A LONG ONE STRAP IN FOLKS
> 
> there are very few readers for this but for those few i hope you really enjoy it! i'm still excited about this story and now that my schedule has cleared, i'll have more time to write!

The kids’ mom was smart by checking Changbin’s suitcase; he packed all summer clothes, but was rather cold in Australia. He was sent back home and returned about an hour later with much more winter-friendly clothing.

The boarding process was standard. Go here, wait. Check in here, wait. Go through security, wait. Felix and Changbin were attached at the hip the whole time, chatting, joking, laughing. Chan and Jisung were side-eyeing them but they were too distracted with each other to notice.

“When did y’all become best friends?” Jisung finally asked after getting through security. The adults and the girls sat down near them and busied themselves with a variety of things while the boys stood.

“Have you forgotten that we’ve been having Korean lessons every week for like, the entire school year?” Changbin threw back.

“I’m starting to think Felix doesn’t actually need the lessons anymore and you two just use it as an excuse to slack off.” Chan put his hands on his hips and squinted at the two. Felix’s heart dropped for a moment, thinking that his brother had caught on to his little crush, but then he remembered– Chan doesn’t know he’s gay. At least, Felix hadn’t told him. Who knew what he could figure out? Regardless, he hid his crush once again and poked his fingers together innocently.

“That’s definitely not the case.” Changbin, playing along, threw his hands in the air.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

The interrogation didn’t stop them. They sat next to each other on the plane and quickly queued up the episodes of _Even a Fool Knows_ that Changbin had downloaded in advance. They fell off from the show, seeing as they spent more time hanging out than actual ‘studying’ but they were dying to see the conclusion. It was a twelve hour flight and they had about ten hour-long episodes to go, so they were pretty much set. They departed around 3 p.m. from Seoul and they were somewhere over the Pacific when the show got interesting.

The plane was quiet. Chan and Jisung were fast asleep across the aisle with Hannah staring out the window, the rest of the family out of sight. Felix and Changbin huddled close in front of a laptop, thankful to have their third seat empty. A thin earphone cord connected them down the middle, threatening to break free as one of the characters prepared to confess his love.

Minho stood before Seolhee alone, the lighting just right, the atmosphere calm. There wasn’t music playing so you knew it was serious, nothing but the wind blowing and the leaves rustling. Minho started simple, _“I have such a fun time with you and I’m thankful we got to meet.”_ The two watched with bated breath, Felix lightly hitting Changbin’s shoulder expectantly. He kept going as the camera slowly zoomed out, just to reveal Hyunjin listening in, just around the corner. The two both gasped and jumped in their seats, knowing well they would be screaming had they not been in public. Minho continued his speech, a shot of Hyunjin popping up every so often. He didn’t look happy at all.

“Go! Go! What are you doing?!” Felix yell-whispered.

“You deserve her more, go get her!” Changbin added at the same volume.

As if he could hear them, Hyunjin stormed out of hiding just as Minho leaned in for the kiss. Hyunjin spun her around and planted one on her right there, right in front of Minho. Felix and Changbin were practically squealing, flailing about and holding onto each other, all while trying to not knock over the laptop. There were several shots of the kiss, of Seolhee’s wide eyes and still mouth, of Minho’s face full of betrayal and anger, just before the frame froze. A glittery texture filtered the screen as the credits rolled and the two boys went _apeshit_. Felix’s mom, wherever she was, scolded them from across the way. They apologized but went back to freaking out, just much more quiet this time.

They played the next episode _immediately._

Felix was fully invested in the show and couldn’t stop playing the episodes back to back, but as it neared midnight and they were only a few hours from Sydney, he noticed Changbin starting to fall asleep. Suddenly he was thrown back to the time on the train a month ago, except the situation was inverted. They were already pressed up together, shoulder-to-shoulder, thigh-to-thigh, and there wasn’t much left to imagine. He begrudgingly shut the laptop and tucked it away, carefully removing the earbud from Changbin’s ear who didn’t stir at all. He leaned forward to glance across the aisle. Jisung fell asleep (again), Hannah was also asleep, and Chan was busy making music on his own laptop.

Sitting back in his seat, he took part in his favorite pastime: admiring Changbin. He was still as stunning as the first time they met. His head was leaning a bit more towards Felix, his eyelashes splayed over his cheeks, his golden skin tone, the subtle rise and fall of his chest. Before he could process what he was doing, Felix reached up to run his fingers along his chin and jawline, resting his palm on his cheek. His eyes fell to his lips. A perfect shape, the bottom one a bit bigger than the upper, soft, pink. Slowly, cautious, Felix moved his face closer to Changbin’s, closer, closer, until their foreheads pressed together and their noses bumped. His heart was pounding. He wanted so badly to kiss him, more than anything, but it was clear that he couldn’t. He dropped his hand and drew it back, not moving his head much more than he needed to not look suspicious.

Han Jisung saw the whole thing.

  
  
  
  


It was almost four in the morning when they landed but the kids were full of life. While Jisung and Changbin could barely keep their eyes open, the four siblings were gazing out the windows and pointing out familiar sights. This made it harder for the others to continue their sleep. Changbin looked up just enough to see Felix, his face full of excitement and joy. He shut his eyes again with a smile.

Jisung slouched over Chan as he refused to be conscious. The brothers were talking to Changbin about a few of the different things they saw on the ride over, Olivia popping in occasionally to add her two cents. Hannah stuck close with her parents as they checked into their hotel rooms.

“Wait, who’s rooming with who again? We have like, four rooms, right?” Felix prompted.

“Well,” Chan started, “I figured Hannah and Olivia would be in one room, our parents in one, you and I in one, and Changbin and Jisung in another?”

Nope, that wasn’t gonna work. Thankfully, Felix wasn’t the one who had to intervene.

“You wanna let Jisung and I fend for ourselves? I know he knows some English, but he’s still too dumb to get us around.”

“Hey–” Jisung woke up just to scowl at his friend and raise a fist. “Says the one who can’t count to ten in English.” Changbin raised two fists up in response and Chan had to hold back his friend.

“Alright, alright, fine. You can room with Felix then, hm? Just don’t be up late and scream about your little show when we’re all sleeping again,” he said with no real malice and a smile on his face. The two shared a high-five and Chan clutched his chest dramatically, as if he was in pain. “Have I finally been replaced as an older brother?”

“Nooo, never!” Although he knew he was joking, Felix ran over to give his brother a hug, earning a laugh from him and groan from Jisung (who was still using him as a crutch).

“Watch your back, _Chris_. I’m making my way up the ranks.” Changbin glared threateningly and Chan raised his chin to throw daggers, letting him know this was war.

The first thing Changbin did when he got to his room was collapse on the bed. Felix sat himself by the window and peered out the window, taking in the sight of a quiet but brightly lit Sydney.

“You sure love to just look at Australia, huh,” he commented, face squished against the pillow. The younger laughed.

“Shut up, I missed it here.” Changbin sat up, lazily joining the viewing party. He had to admit, it was quite the sight. “You can go to sleep, though. We aren’t gonna go out and do stuff for another five hours anyway.”

“I don’t want you to be lonely.” _Oof_ , that struck Felix right in the heart. Changbin’s messy hair and sleepy face made it all the more painful. Regardless, he shook his head.

“I know you’re tired. Just get some rest so you’re ready for the rest of the day.” Changbin gave in and made himself comfortable, not bothering to change out of his clothes.

He really did miss home. It hit him like a ton of bricks. It’s crazy how a collection of buildings looks and feels different when he knows it’s Sydney. He remembers these buildings. He grew up around them but they stayed the same size. He was almost in disbelief, like he was in a dream and all he had to do was open his eyes and the skyline before him would disappear. But for the first time in six months, he wasn’t dreaming. He was really there.

**_Chris 🐺_**

_Was our city always this beautiful?_

_4:19 a.m._

It seemed like his brother was going through the same range of emotions he was. Not like that was very surprising. While Felix externalized his emotions more, Chan was definitely the more sentimental of the two. He rarely showed any negative emotion to anyone, though, at least not outside the family. Felix was thankful his brother trusted him and that he was there to hold him when he cried and keep him company when he couldn’t sleep.

**_Lix 🐱_ **

_Isn’t there a saying about how distance makes the heart grow fonder? That’s probably what it is._

_4:19 a.m._

**_Chris 🐺_ **

_How wise ㅋㅋ_

_4:19 a.m._

Felix rolled his eyes. The lights were still on from when they arrived, so he got up to turn them off. He leaned against the wall and looked down at Changbin, sleeping peacefully.

He had decided a while ago that he was going to confess on this trip. He hadn’t figured out how yet, but he was determined to. Changbin and he never spoke about sexuality or about dating in general, really. He hadn’t shown any signs of homophobia or anything like that, but Felix still had no idea whether or not he was gay. There was some things that led him to believe that maybe, just maybe he was at least bisexual. But then again, Felix had been wrong before. Sexual orientation wasn’t a science and there wasn’t a sure fire way to know someone’s without just asking them. Unfortunately, it’s never that easy.

Felix heard his phone buzz again.

**_Chan 🐺_ **

_Did Changbin pass out too?_

_4:23 a.m._

**_Lix 🐱_ **

_Yep. It’s way more quiet all a sudden._

_4:23 a.m._

He swore he heard laughter from the other side of the wall.

**_Chan 🐺_ **

_Yeah, you’re telling me._

_4:24 a.m._

  
  
  
  


When the family originally planned this trip, it wasn’t meant to be so tourist-y. They didn’t mind much, though. Home was still home, even if it was surrounded by foreigners with cameras.

Although since it was winter, the streets and stores weren’t too packed. It was most just kids visiting home for winter break, which in essence, was almost the same as the Lee family. They had a whole week here and planned to make the best of it. They wanted to stay longer, but their parents couldn’t only get so much time off work. A little is better than none.

Felix woke up Changbin with a pillow over his head. The former tried to sleep but could only get about two hours in here and there due to his excitement. The family met in the hotel lobby at 10:30 a.m. and were on their way.

“Are we gonna drive by our old house?” Hannah asked expectantly.

“Maybe, sweetie. There’s probably a new family living there now,” came Mom’s gentle voice. Hannah tried to not look too disappointed.

After Chan tried his best to cheer up his baby sister, they separated into two different cars: the boys and the family. This was likely going to be a pattern for the next six days. The first stop of the day was the Sydney Aquarium and then after the family bonding time, the boys were allowed to split off and do what they wanted. Olivia was a little ticked off because she didn’t have any friends to hang out with. She had invited a few of her friends but none of them could afford it or were too busy. Felix felt kinda bad for her and planned to make time for the two of them to hang out, even if that meant being away from Changbin. Family first.

“Holy fuck, what is that,” Jisung muttered, getting slapped on the shoulder by Chan even though he spoke in Korean.

“Language! And it’s an aquarium dude, you can read about it.”

They learned it was a barreleye fish, a deep-sea fish with an eerie see-through head. Felix overheard the discourse and had a similar reaction. Some things need to stay in the depths of the ocean.

The aquarium had one of those hallways that was a tank that looped all the way around from the walls to the ceiling. It was a bit spooky, but also really beautiful. A manta ray swooped over top of them and the hallway _ooh’d_ and _ah’d._ Changbin and Felix stood together and pointed at the different sea creatures that would pass them by. They had a moment where their eyes met and they smiled and maybe they looked at each other a little too long. The lighting from the water made Changbin glow.

Jisung furrowed his brow in thought as he watched, feeling like he shouldn’t have seen the exchange.

They stayed there for another good thirty minutes or so, separating and meeting up from time to time. They did a quick stop in the souvenir store and picked out something nice. Changbin and Felix found matching keychains that they thought were cute. Jisung saw that too, clutching a soft plush penguin in his hands.

Lunch was a local pizza place that was down the street, but once is his life, Jisung wasn’t thinking about food. Chan was talking to him about… something, but his eyes were locked onto the pair in front of him. Something felt weird with them and he was determined to get to the bottom of it.

“Jisung? Are you listening to me?”

(He wasn’t.)

“Felix, can you help me find the bathroom here?” Jisung asked after placing their order, step one in his master plan. Felix gave in easily, what a fool. The bathrooms were tucked in the back of the restaurant, secluded from the rest of the world. Before he could run off, Jisung grabbed his sleeve.

“Is there something you wanna tell me?” Felix blinked at him, confused.

“Um… no? I mean, no offense, Jisung, but it’s not like we talk a lot anyway.” He sighed, it seemed like he couldn’t do this the easy way. He never could.

“Nothing to do with… Changbin?”

The fear that seeped through Felix’s face was enough of an answer. Mission success… kind of.

How did Jisung know? _What_ did Jisung know? Is it over? Does he hate him? Should he call it quits? What if he–

“Hey, hey, relax. I’m not gonna run around and gossip or whatever. I don’t even know what’s going on. I just… noticed some stuff, and I wanted to know what was up.”

Felix was at a loss. He had no idea what to say. He just stood there with his mouth open, desperately searching for words, any word.

“O-Okay, that’s fine, you don’t need to tell me anything. Just know that whatever it is, I support you, okay?” He pat Felix on the shoulder to drive that home. He still didn’t know what to say. Jisung looked around awkwardly, not knowing what to do. He eventually took Felix back to the table as it was clear he wasn’t going to snap out of it any time soon. Lunch proceeded in an uncomfortable quiet.

Jisung was never good at these things.

  
  
  
  


They did some casual shopping down the strip after eating, but Felix couldn’t have been more on edge. He thought he felt Changbin picking up on it, and he definitely felt Jisung’s eyes on him. Although he wasn’t trying to sleuth around anymore; he just felt bad for stressing out the poor kid.

Decades (hours) later, everyone went back to their hotel for the night. Chan gave each of his siblings a tight hug before retreating to his room, blatantly ignoring Jisung’s request for a hug with open arms. Felix sat down on his bed and gazed longingly at his Switch charging on the nightstand. He wanted so badly to hide away in his Animal Crossing island, to catch bugs and listen to a dog sing, but alas. Now that Jisung was starting to catch on to things, he figured he ought to get it out of the way.

He’d be planning what to say all day, romantic words coming to him every time he heard Changbin laugh or watched his smile crook to the side. But they always felt too tacky, too disingenuous. If he was gonna do this, he wanted to make it good.

But he was scared.

While he sat and moped, Changbin decided to take a shower. Felix tried hard not to think about it. As soon as he heard the water start hitting the tile, he gave in and opened up Animal Crossing anyway, using paying off his loan as a distraction. It was a good one, too, for about fifteen minutes before Changbin emerged from the bathroom, bare chest, towel around his waist. Felix lost the fish he was trying to catch.

Changbin jokingly covered his chest with one hand, not actually hiding much. “Don’t look, I’m exposed.”

Felix covered his eyes with both hands and Changbin laughed, as if he was joking too.

He peeked through his fingers as he watched Changbin pull out a shirt to sleep in along with some sweatpants. His hand went to drop the towel and Felix squeezed his eyes shut harder than he ever had in his life.

“Okay, dummy, you can look now.” Felix felt a towel land over his head, presumably the one Changbin had been using. _Seriously?_ He'd be lucky if he survived the night. “Oh, do you wanna watch more _Even a Fool Knows?_ Sorry for passing out on the plane, but I’m really invested.”

Felix took a moment to process things before they got set up to watch the next episode. He recentered himself and tried to get back on track. It was annoying being like this; a stupid school girl crush had enveloped everything about him. It was similar to how he was when he first met Changbin. It wasn’t comfortable like how they used to be, before he decided to confess and before Han Jisung got into his head like that. Annoying.

They sat on what was declared Changbin’s bed, backs against the wall, legs spread out in front of them. The beginning of the episode was standard, a bit of recap before filler and a quick visit with the boring subplot. Truthfully no one cared about these kids’ stupid film project, bring back the action! But, he supposed they had to make you want it.

It was about half way through the episode before something interesting happened. Hyunjin and his best friend Jeongin were cleaning a classroom together after school. Hyunjin was overcome with stress about what to do with Seolhee, her reaction to his surprise kiss not being a good one. He felt like he made a huge mistake and didn’t know what to do.

_“I really like this girl, Jeongin. I know I’m still a kid, but I feel like we could be something special, you know?”_

Jeongin had been pretty quiet for the whole scene, busying himself with a broom and dustpan.

 _“No, I don’t,”_ he mumbled to himself.

_“What?”_

Jeongin threw the broom down dramatically– both Changbin and Felix gasped.

 _“I_ don’t _know. You know what I_ do _know? I know how it feels to want someone so bad but never have a chance with them. You might think that’s where you are but it’s not. You have a chance. You don’t have to lie awake at night wondering what you’d have to do to get that someone to care about you the same way, just to realize it’s a simple fact that you have no control of._ That _is worth crying about_ . That _is worth complaining about. Do you have any idea what I’m talking about?”_

“Wait… a minute…” Changbin muttered. Something was strange about the exchange and Felix felt it too. It almost felt… familiar.

_“I… No, I don’t.”_

_“How could you not? Hyunjin, even a_ fool _would know!”_ He sighed, exasperated. Sad. _“But I guess overestimated you.”_ Jeongin, with tears forming in his eyes and his voice steadily breaking, stormed out of the classroom. _“Good luck with Seolhee.”_

Felix paused the video.

“Does he…?”

“Do you think?” Changbin replied.

“There’s no way. Really? Do you think they would do that?”

“I mean… it’s 2020.”

“Holy shit.” They looked at the screen, a still frame of Hyunjin’s confused expression.

“That’s kind of cool, though. I mean, _sad_ in the story but–”

Felix shut the laptop. “I think I’m gonna get to sleep.” He took the device and put it back on the table to charge it. Changbin whined.

“Aw, really? After such a big development, you’re gonna leave me hanging?”

“Sorry, I’m just… Tired.” He didn’t want to face Changbin. He stood with his back facing him and fixed his hair to stall for time.

“Are you alright? You were acting a little weird since the aquarium.” He heard Changbin get out of the bed. Fuck it.

“Yeah I’m… Well, no. Maybe not. I don’t know, Changbin. Things have been… Weird, I guess. I’m still terrible at Korean so finding the words is–” Changbin out his hand on Felix’s shoulder, causing the younger to turn and face him. He was silent, looked pretty serious, and gently pressed his lips on Felix’s.

Wait a minute.

Changbin’s hand ghosted over Felix’s cheek, head tilted to the side, lips firm in their movement. Felix, being the idiot that he was, just stared. What else was he supposed to do? Kiss back? He could barely breathe, nonetheless kiss the guy he’s in love with. Changbin wasn’t backing off, instead renewing the kiss once, twice over. He decided it was time to shut his eyes and try not to make a fool of himself. He mirrored what Changbin did, assuming the elder had significantly more experience (i.e. any). It took a second, but he started to get the feel for it, the feel of Changbin’s lips on his own. He reached out to cautiously place a hand on his waist right when Changbin pulled back

“Fuck, sorry, I.” He took a step back and ran a hand over his face, combing it through his hair. Felix could hear his own heart beating in his ears. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I shouldn’t be– I can’t–”

“No no no, wait, it’s okay. Really, hyung, it’s fine!” A surge of confidence blessed Felix in his most desperate times. He held onto Changbin’s shoulders and carefully moved him back in. He examined his face; his eyes were dark and his cheeks were red, an expression he had never seen before. Felix forced himself to push through the fear and slowly but surely, their lips met again.

You could tell Changbin worked out just by looking at him, but Felix had never _felt_ it. His hands held a strong grip on his waist and Felix put his own hands on Changbin’s biceps, feeling the muscle tightened underneath them. The sounds they were making were ones that Felix had heard before, but they weren’t sounds he could imagine himself making, especially not with Changbin. He soon linked his arms around Changbin’s neck, the latter taking notice and doing the same with Felix’s waist, pressing their bodies together as a result. Felix’s fingers snuck their way into Changbin’s dark hair to counter the delicate hands sliding up his back. Strangely enough, Felix felt his heart rate slow down. He felt… safe. Secure. He trusted Changbin and knew that he was in good hands (literally). This was what he had been yearning for since the first time they met and it was truly better than he expected. 

Blissful was a good word for it. Changbin was being so careful, yet he held on to the other for dear life. His lips were soft, smooth, gracefully connecting with Felix’s over and over. His hair was still a bit damp, especially when Felix dug his fingertips into his roots. On occasion, their teeth would clack together. Felix figured that probably shouldn’t be happening and blamed himself, all of a sudden very insecure about his lack of kissing knowledge.

“Felix, I can’t…” This time when he pulled back, he laughed with his words, making them seem less intense. He walked over to his bed and fell face first on it.

“Whyyy,” Felix whined, trying to laugh along with him to ease the tension. He took a seat next to his forlorned hyung.

“Because you’re my best friend’s little brother and that’s like, the cardinal sin, I can’t, it’s weird.” The younger frowned.

“Is it weird to like me?”

“No!” Changbin shot up instantly and faced Felix. “No, it’s– I didn’t mean it like that. I just, I mean, you’re also in _high school–”_

“It’s my last year!”

“I know, but!” He sighed heavily, falling on his back. “I shouldn’t… feel this way about–” another pause, another sigh– “My best friend’s baby brother who’s also a high schooler.”

In the past eight minutes, Felix went from stressed to excited to insulted back to excited again.

“And what way is that?” Changbin frowned, looking up at Felix with his blotchy red face.

“Kissy feelings, obviously.” Felix laughed, clutching his chest in fake pain.

“Oh, so you only like me for my lips?” He had no idea where this confidence was coming from and knew it was fleeting. Changbin sat up again and groaned, throwing his hands in the air.

“No! I wanna hold your hand and take you on dates and lose to you in Mario Kart ten times in a row at two in the morning in our pajamas, _thos_ e kind of feelings!” He was right; his bravado was falling quickly, that ramble-y sentence helping push it completely away. Felix smiled, breaking eye contact and looking at his hands. In his line of sight soon came another hand, this one a bit bigger and tanner, tightly holding his own. “I know I shouldn’t feel those feelings, but I do. And I don’t want to pretend they don’t exist. Wh– How about you? What do you feel?”

Felix held his hand back just as tight. “Changbin, you idiot.”

“Huh?”

“Even a fool would know–” Changbin rolled his eyes, Felix giggled. “I’ve liked you since I first saw you. I wanna beat you in Mario Kart, too. Again, might I add.” Changbin pushes him over, the younger falling back against the bed while laughing harder.

“Prick. You should’ve just said that!” He looked down at Felix, perfect Felix, and hovered over him to give him another kiss. A sweet one, a soft one, a lighter one than before. Comfortable. Warm. “You’ve liked me for that long?” he asked quietly. Felix nodded, feeling shy from the beautiful face directly above his own, right before being kissed again, and again and again.

“Wanna finish that episode now?” Felix asked after another few minutes.

“God please, it’s killing me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THE PLOT THICKENS ! sorry it was so lengthy, i had no idea where to divide it


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oop finally back! you might've noticed the rating changed..... don't worry about that
> 
> sorry it's a lil short! it's a little more fast paced and stylized more like my other writing since didn't really know what to do here, so i hope it's good enough!

The rest of the week was fine, give or take the fact that Changbin and Felix had to hide their budding relationship. Jisung would still give them The Eye every time they got too close or laughed too long, but generally didn’t question them. At least, not to their faces. Chan, on the other hand, was extremely oblivious. The pair were talking about it one night and Felix said that’s the blessing of straight people: they never suspect anything is gay if it’s not covered in rainbows and feathers.

“Kinda surprised he’s straight, honestly.” Felix had never laughed louder.

“My brother is the straightest man alive, I can assure you of that.” He shook his head, thinking that was the end of it, running from a scorpion on his island only to catch it at the last second.

“Does he know you’re not?” He paused, sighing as he ran to sell his newest catch.

“No. I know he’s not homophobic obviously, but. I dunno. Just never felt like having a talk about it, y'know? I figured it would come up when it’s important.” Changbin slid next to where he sat on the bed, leaning against him obnoxiously.

“Am  _ I  _ important enough?” Felix rolled his eyes but couldn’t hold back his smile.

“Unfortunately, you are. But we’ll deal with that later.” Changbin sat there with his head on his new boyfriend’s shoulder, watching him run around in large circles trying to catch more bugs. He caught two more before he spoke again. “Does he know  _ you’re  _ not? … Straight, I mean.”

“Nope. Never came up, but I’ve known him like, a twentieth of the time you've known him so I have an excuse.” Felix nudged him with his shoulder and whined.

“Shut up, coming out to your family is hard, even if I know he’s not gonna care.”

“See, you just said he wouldn’t care!” Changbin was glared at. “Alright, alright, fine. Honestly, I can’t roast you for not coming out. I haven’t either. Then again, I have a strong feeling my parents wouldn’t take it lightly.”

“No, your parents don’t support it?” He frowned, pausing his game.

“Nope,” he said with a shake of his head. “They’ve made that clear in the past.”

“Binnie, I’m sorry.” Felix pressed a kiss to his cheek, but Changbin just chuckled and brushed it off.

“It’s fine, it’s something I came to terms with a long time ago. I live on my own now, so I don’t have to worry about being kicked out or anything.” Despite his words, Felix kept covering his face in kisses, making him laugh again. “Stop, why are you so bold all a sudden?!”

Within the hour, they fell asleep cuddled up next to each other.

  
  
  


The last day of the trip was the day Felix decided to dedicate some time to Olivia, poor lonely Olivia. He told Chan about his plans and he joined as well, leaving Changbin and Jisung alone to fend for themselves in Australia (that, or to get some quality time with their parents). The sibling quartet revisited familiar, nostalgic locations, ranging from their old schools to parks they would play at to their favorite ice cream parlor down the street from their old house. They did eventually go by their house and Mom was right, a new family lived there. It’s strange seeing a different set of people move around a different set of furniture in the same house you grew up in. They left before the family had a chance to notice them staring and potentially call the police. It was overall an extremely relaxing outing, a breath of fresh air to be with each other in the city they call home.

The entire trip felt like a dream.

_ Dating Changbin _ felt like a dream.

Felix got nervous and almost decided not to sit next to Changbin on the plane ride back, but over-thought it and wondered if it’d be  _ more _ suspicious if they didn’t sit together, so he coped and sat next to his boy. They begrudgingly agreed not to watch another episode of their show since it was heating up as the finale neared and they knew they wouldn’t be able to be quiet. They happily settled on a variety of Mario games to keep them occupied.

“I can’t believe you’re actually dating him,” Chenle scoffed through his headset as they waited in the digital lobby before the match began.

“Me neither.”

“I mean, your brother’s best friend? How cliché is that?”

But Chan didn’t suspect a thing.

The rest of summer break went on with ease. Changbin and Jisung would come over occasionally to make music or the trio would head out for lunch or noraebang. Sometimes just Jisung, sometimes just Changbin. Even though Changbin was Chan’s friend before he was Felix’s boyfriend, it still felt weird seeing them hang out and laugh together as if they weren’t hiding something.

“I’m thinking about asking her out. Ah, should I? I’m so nervous!” Chan wore a smile on his face as he gazed off, thinking about said girl.

“Why not? You two would be perfect together!” Jisung enthused, sitting next to him.

“I thought you guys were actually already dating and you were just keeping it a secret for whatever reason,” Changbin added awful casually as he shoved more popcorn in his mouth. Felix listened silently.

“Really? So you think she likes me then?”

_ “Yes!” _ the two replied in unison.

“Felix, what do you think?”

“I've never met her so I wouldn’t–”

“No, I mean, would you be okay with your big brother dating?”

He said it with a playful tone and a playful look, yet it made him suddenly feel uncomfortable sitting next to Changbin. Impulsively, he glanced at his boyfriend who had a similar reaction and avoided eye contact. Felix cleared his throat.

“O-Of course! Just as long as Nayeon doesn’t steal you away.”

Chan laughed and assured him that would never happen. Changbin laughed, too, if not a little forced. Jisung’s burning gaze bore holes through Felix’s skull.

“It’s only been a month and it’s so difficult, why is this so difficult?”

Felix fell face first onto Changbin’s bed, the elder laughing at him. Some upbeat music played from his fancy laptop, a song Felix didn’t recognize. It wasn’t the first time he had been to Changbin’s and Jisung’s apartment, but it was the first time they were alone in it.

“Keeping a relationship secret from someone  _ you _ live with and that  _ I _ see almost every day was never meant to be an easy task,” Changbin said, setting down his backpack.

“I wish we didn’t have to,” he sighed, rolling on his back and looking at the ceiling. Changbin sat next to him, brushing hair from Felix’s face. “I guess we don’t  _ have _ to but. I don’t want to tell anyone. And it’s not because I’m like, embarrassed about you or anything. You know that right?” He couldn’t help the pout that appeared on his face. Changbin cupped his cheek and smiled.

“I know. I’m nervous too.”

“And like…” Felix sighed. “I  _ know _ no one is gonna care. Besides your parents obviously, but… y’know.” Changbin started carding his fingers through Felix’s hair mindlessly as the song in the background changed. It was more relaxed and slow, a Korean band Felix was familiar with. This song always made him long for a lover he never had. He supposed now, he had one to long for.

“I know,” he repeated. “We don’t need to rush anything, okay?” Felix nodded before his boyfriend leaned down to give him a quick kiss. “Except if we don’t catch up on the show right now, I’m gonna lose it.”

_ “Jeongin-ah, what’s on your mind?” _

Seolhee, after being put in a tough situation, decided to announce which of the two boys pining for her had her heart. They had both been pestering her endlessly, performing acts to gain her affection. There was a scene with Minho that was awfully romantic, a moonlight walk where they shared their deepest secrets. But Hyunjin also had his fair share of romance, taking her away from her textbook for a fun day of shopping around the town. The writers did a good job setting up the plot: no one could tell who would win. But today, she will name the victor.

_ “Hyung. Have you ever been in love before?” _

_ “Uh… no?”  _ Jeongin paused for a moment, standing up from the desk he was at and walking around the classroom.

_ “I don’t think it’s supposed to feel like this. I’ve heard love songs about how painful it is, but it’s… it’s different. It feels cruel. It’s out of my control. It… hurts.” _

_ “Wait, you’re in love with someone?” _

He gazed out the second-floor window. The camera cut to a shot of Hyunjin talking with nameless friends, laughing, smiling.

_ “I am. With someone I can never have.” _

Changbin and Felix  _ screeched _ .

“Oh my God they  _ did it!” _

“Oh my God they  _ did!” _

This was the reason they had to watch the show in private.

“They actually made him gay! Holy shit!” The laptop always flew to the floor with how they jumped about Changbin’s bed.

“Now wait, what are they gonna do with him and Hyunjin then? Is he gonna confess?”

“I don’t know, babe, play the video so we can find out!”

The episode proceeded with more filler. The final scene had Seolhee standing before the two boys in the courtyard of the school. She gave a speech about how those past weeks had been for her and why she decided on who she did. Of course, the dumb freeze-frame glittery ending title popped up before she could say it. They promised they’d only watch one episode, but it took Changbin a good eight minutes to convince him they had to stay true to that.

“Alright, fine, but if we don’t watch the last episode soon,” he started, getting up to put his laptop in the corner to charge. “I’ll watch it without you.” Felix had never been so hurt in his life.

“Hey!” he said after gasping dramatically. “I wanted to go all out for the finale! We’ve been watching this show for months and it helped us get together, so I thought it’d be nice to do something special!”

“Aw, wait really? That’s so cute.” Changbin went over to Felix to squish his cheeks, leaning over him. The younger whined and half-heartedly tried to push him off.

“No, go away, you hurt my feelings,” he said with fake-pain in his voice, the smile on his face breaking the illusion.

“Shush, let me make it up to you.”

Felix’s back hit Changbin’s cushiony bed as he fell on top of him. He adapted immediately by wrapping his arms around Changbin’s neck, one of his hands tangling in his mess of hair. He always loved how soft Changbin’s lips were. He’d stolen his lip balm many a time to try to replicate the effect on his own lips, whether applying it directly himself or having Changbin assist. Felix felt hands slowly trailing down his waist, hip, and thigh, pulling it up to lean his knee against Changbin’s torso. He continued to mindlessly rub the length of Felix’s thigh as their lips met over and over. Slow, sweet, but enough to get his heart racing. Changbin gently nipped at his lips to part them, carefully sliding his tongue in his mouth, gaining a low hum from Felix as he readjusted himself. This was… new. Sure, they’ve kissed before, but this was progressing differently than usual. He had absolutely no complaints about it, he had just never felt this was before. At least not with someone specific.

Felix tried to mirror what Changbin was doing. He ran his tongue along Changbin’s in unison, following the smooth pace he had chosen. Changbin’s hands moved up from below his waist to blindly undo Felix’s tie, tossing it to the side before unbuttoning a bit his shirt. He then hesitantly tore his lips away from Felix’s and used them to draw a line of kisses from his chin down to the crook of his neck. With only a few buttons undone, he snuck a hand inside his shirt to feel the warmth of his chest as he worked on his neck. Felix kept his eyes shut tight as he endured the sensation of Changbin pushing his tongue against his skin, the subtle pinch of his teeth, the bruises forming from light sucking. He felt dizzy. There was adrenaline coursing through his body with a variety of other feelings equating to a rush of dopamine. It escalated significantly when Changbin pressed his knee between Felix’s legs.

Definitely new. But very welcomed.

Changbin eventually returned his kisses to Felix’s lips, showing mercy to his poor collarbone. An impulse to tug at Changbin’s hair made him groan, but a languid one, a good one. Happy to finally find something to make Changbin melt in the same way, he repeated the motion in a rhythm to sync with their kisses.

“You’re gonna drive me insane,” Changbin muttered in a low, hot voice, his face hovering just centimeters above. Felix felt his cheeks redden deeper.

“The feeling is mutual. Consider it payback.”

Felix’s shirt became completely unbuttoned, Changbin removed a layer to leave him in his undershirt, and his hands were working on the belt and zipper of Felix’s pants.

“Oh my God, ew! I’m–” came a voice, followed by a dramatized gagging noise.

“Jisung! For fuck’s sake,” Changbin said, crawling off Felix who just let out a yelp, helping him cover his chest with a pillow.

“I knew it! I knew something was up! But oh God, I wish I didn’t see it.” Jisung leaned a hand against the doorframe and fake-gagged again.

“Maybe if you didn’t barge into my fucking room, you wouldn’t have.”

“I saw Felix’s school blazer on the couch and got suspicious! I didn’t think you’d be fucking!”

“We weren’t– Go away!” Despite the chaos and the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment, Felix couldn’t help but notice the protectiveness radiating from Changbin. He held an arm out in front of Felix, as if Jisung would cause some kind of harm to him. Seeing how it was an instinctive gesture made his heart soar, although it was muted due to the aforementioned mortification.

“No, I want an explanation!”

Jisung was sent to wait in the living room as Felix and Changbin regathered and redressed themselves, grumbling to themselves the whole time. 

“A  _ month?” _ Jisung said in shock, his eyes getting comically wide, as they do.

“That’s not even that long–”

“Does Chan know?” Felix shrunk into the couch, breaking eye contact. The two boys looked at him, Jisung in question, Changbin in concern.

“No,” Changbin spoke in his place, patting his back lightly.

“He’s about to find out with that giant ass hickey on your neck.” Felix’s hand shot up to cover it, having forgotten about it momentarily. His face got red again. “Maybe you should’ve thought that through better.”

“Oh, shut up, Jisung. Neither of us felt comfortable sharing our relationship so why should we? For  _ your  _ sake? It’s not about you, it’s  _ our _ relationship. We aren’t out to Chan and we don’t need to be forced to. Mind your own business.” Changbin’s tone was stern. Angry. Felix turned to look at him, his mouth down turned, his brow furrowed. It was kinda hot. Really hot.

“Alright, alright, damn. I was just giving you a hard time. I wasn’t gonna tell him or anything.” Jisung sighed, running his hand through his hair in thought. “A high schooler, Changbin?”

“It’s his last year!”

“It’s my last year!” they said in unison. Jisung raised his hands defensively.

“Okay! Fine! But– He’s still Chan’s baby brother. You know how much he loves him.” His tone softened. He leaned over his knees and looked at Changbin directly from across the table. He wasn’t being accusatory anymore. It felt like he wanted to help. “You shouldn’t keep it a secret. Chan would support the hell out of you two. I do.”

“Doesn’t seem like you do,” Felix mumbled, rubbing his hickey as it seemed to burn his skin. Jisung sighed another sigh.

“Again, just. Giving you guys a hard time. Honestly, you two make a great couple. You complement each other well.” They looked at each other and impulsively smiled, Changbin’s loving gaze never failing to make him feel fuzzy. “I don’t mean to force you guys, really. But, Chan will be hurt if you go longer without telling him.”

“Yeah, I know. You’re right,” Changbin admittedly defeatedly.

“What? Wait, say that again, I need it on tape.” Jisung started to pull up the voice memo app on his phone. Changbin reached over to smack his arm and Felix let out a laugh.

“Stop it, you dumbass.”

Changbin and Jisung bickered some more while Felix thought.

He knew his brother wouldn’t care. Hell, he might already know. Chan had spoken about LGBT stuff with him before, expressing disdain for hate crimes that might’ve happened around town and praising the rare case of diversity in the media. They’ve had conversations about inequality and the strange discriminatory laws in their country. He knew he had nothing to fear. Even his sisters would support him, probably his parents too. He had a safe household, yet he felt so afraid. What’s he afraid of?

He also suspected that Chan wouldn’t be bothered by the fact that he was dating one of his best friends. Hell, he’d probably be excited about it. He loves Changbin and he loves his brother. He’s generally such a supportive person who only wants his brother to be happy. And he’s never been more happy than with Changbin. What’s holding him back?

Jisung is right. They have to tell Chan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> getting close to the end! should only be one more chapter left, pls look forward to it <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOO ITS FINALLY HERE! thank you for being patient, life got hectic last month :/ and i wanted to make this the best I could!! be warned it's lengthy but i tried to tie up every loose end. i hope it was worth the wait :')

Before they would tell Chan, Changbin wanted to tell someone else first. Two someone else’s, actually.

His parents lived a ways outside of the city. Not too far out, only about a thirty minute drive, plus an additional ten minutes to account for traffic and Changbin getting lost somehow. Any other scenario, Felix would’ve teased the hell out of him, but he couldn’t ignore how nervous his boyfriend was.

The trip was mostly silent, save for the music quietly players from the speakers. Half way through, Felix insisted on holding Changbin’s hand to help ease his anxiety, laying it on his thigh when he needed both hands for big turns. It seemed to be effective until they pulled into the driveway.

“You okay?” His voice was quiet, gentle, like a security blanket. Changbin looked straight forward, scratched the back of his head, sighed.

“No.” Felix placed his hand on top of Changbin’s.

“I’ll be right by your side the whole time.”

“No,” he repeated, more stern this time, shaking his head, taking his hand away. “I need to do this alone.”

“Baby… are you sure?"

“Absolutely. Besides–” When Changbin turned to look at him, his face was pale, his eyes were sad, and Felix could barely notice that he was shaking, just a little. “I don’t want them to yell at you.”

Felix didn’t know how to respond to that. There were so many thoughts running through his mind, he could only wonder what Changbin was going through. He gave in, glancing at the house before leaning in to give him a firm, warm, reassuring kiss. One to comfort him and remind him he’s not alone. A supportive kiss.

He tried to observe the best he could from the open window. His parents encased him in two separate hugs and chatted with him excitedly for a bit before his mother gestured to the car. She made eye contact with Felix and smiled, yet he felt his heart drop, half-smiling back. Changbin looked down and said something that made his mother’s smile disappear. Felix could tell that his father was yelling, the way his face scrunched together and the way Changbin flinched. It hurt to watch. His mother was gentler, but still disapproving, shaking her head with much smaller hand gestures. This went on for a little bit before his father pointed to the door. Changbin bowed ninety degrees and left the house. Felix felt the parents’ gaze at him like a lightning strike.

Changbin sat in the car silently. He didn’t look at Felix. Felix didn’t say anything. Changbin put on his seatbelt and started driving away. Felix still didn’t say anything. They drove for a while before Felix noticed that Changbin had started speeding.

“Changbin.”

There was no one on this particular freeway, but he was going higher and higher over the speed limit.

_ “Changbin.” _

Felix looked at his face. His eyes were glossy, his cheeks were red, his jaw was tight.

“Pull over. Now.”

They pulled over under some ridiculously tall trees and Changbin broke the minute he put the car in park. Felix kept quiet still as he pulled Changbin into the tightest hug he had ever given anyone. He gently pet his hair and let him soak the fabric of his shirt, heart aching with the sound of him choking on his tears. He had never seen Changbin cry before, not even during movies or from laughter. He would make off-hand jokes about his parents being unaccepting of him, but Felix knew it was always a defense mechanism. He just didn’t know how much it would affect Changbin, or himself for that matter. Felix was trying hard to not cry with him, but it was proving extremely difficult.

“I’m so sorry, Changbin,” was the only thing he could muster.

Felix started to think about how lucky he was. He felt selfish. Cowardish. He was so afraid to come out but Changbin did it fearlessly, knowing well how his parents would react. Meanwhile Felix was extremely fortunate to have a family that loves and supports him no matter what and advocate for equality. He can’t be afraid anymore. He feels like he has no right to be.

“Don’t look at me, I look gross when I cry,” Changbin said as soon as he pulled back, wiping his eyes. Felix let out a careful laugh and covered his own eyes with his hands.

“There’s no way you’ll ever not be absolutely gorgeous to me, but I’ll respect your wishes,” he said with a hint of a smile.

“I love you so much.”

Felix immediately backpedaled on his promise and took his hands away. He saw a teary-eyed, red-nosed, handsome face he knew all too well. He had a sincere look in his eyes, if you ignored his pouty lip and furrowed brow.

“I really love you, Felix. Like, so fucking much,” he continued after Felix stared blankly at him. “I wouldn’t have done  _ that  _ for just anyone.” A car zoomed past them, probably violating the speed limit like Changbin had not ten minutes ago. Felix didn’t have to think about what to say. He just had to find the courage to say it.

“I love you too, Changbin. I have for a long time.” He took Changbin’s hands in his own and tried to keep it together. “I can’t imagine myself with anyone but you. I love everything about you, and. And I can’t believe I got so lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one. What are the chances I’d fall in love with the Korean boy from Australia?” Felix had to laugh again. “There was so much that could have prevented us from getting together, from  _ meeting _ , but, but I think the universe wanted us together. I think it knew that we needed each other.  _ I _ need you.”

“... Dammit, you’re making me cry too.” Changbin laughed too, and it made Felix feel better. Not that he was the one needing comfort in that moment, but knowing he said something that might’ve cheered Changbin up even a little bit was rewarding enough. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Really, really love you.”

“I really, really love you too.”

The somber atmosphere of the car was slowly filtered out by soft laughter and warm touches. Felix hugged Changbin’s waist and rested his head on his shoulder from across his seat. Changbin was still recovering from his crying fit, so they sat in a comfortable silence as he let his heartbeat return to normal again.

  
  
  


They queued up the finale of  _ Only a Fool Knows _ to continue their quest to cheer up Changbin. Felix thought the best way was with happy distractions, the bigger the better. The impromptu confession-in-the-car wasn’t in the script, but definitely was beneficial. 

Felix popped some corn, pulled out tons of blankets and pillows, and did his best to make his bedroom a makeshift movie theater. Changbin sat at his desk and watched him, repeating the phrase  _ “you don’t have to do all this” _ but Felix was determined. It was the least he could and besides, he was excited for the ending anyway.

To their surprise, the episode picked up right where it left off. Seolhee repeated her speeches about what each of the boys mean to her and why she cared for them. Then, after some tension building, she admitted that she doesn’t want to date either of them; she liked them a lot as friends. She also included that she felt guilty for tearing apart their friendship and didn’t want to get in the way of it. Before the boys could convince her otherwise, she bowed her head and left the two of them standing alone in the courtyard.

“Saw that coming,” Changbin muttered as he stuffed popcorn in his mouth.

“What, really? I thought she was gonna pick Hyunjin.”

“Nah, after they revealed Jeongin likes him?”

“But there’s no way they’re gonna make them official… Right?” Changbin shrugged.

The episode proceeded with Minho and Hyunjin reflecting on the previous weeks as well as their life-long friendship.

_ “We really let a girl come between us, huh?”  _ Minho laughed with Hyunjin, sitting on the stairs of an empty hallway.

“They say that shit like they haven’t been at each other’s throats for the past sixteen episodes,” said Changbin.

“Shh!”

The team also got the results from the film competition. They didn’t win, but they decided they were proud of it regardless. Everyone went out for food, including Hyunjin and Minho who before had refused to be around each other. Some B-character made a remark about how he was shocked the two had been next to each other for five minutes and hadn’t torn out each other’s throats yet. They dismissed him and the team laughed over tons of dishes of delicious-looking food. Everyone but Jeongin.

“Oh my God, oh my God,” Felix said, hitting Changbin’s shoulder in excitement as the scene began; the sun was just starting the set, the sky becoming a warm orange with a hint of pink. Hyunjin and Jeongin stood alone on a riverbank just down the street from their school. This was their designated hangout place, a location showcased many times throughout the show every time they had to discuss something important.

_ “I’m glad Minho and I are friends again, but part of me still wants to be with Seolhee.” _ Hyunjin skipped a pebble over the water followed by Jeongin. He didn’t reply.  _ “I know I should just let it go but–” _

_ “You should,” _ Jeongin snapped, tossing his rock a bit harder. Hyunjin turned to him.

“Oh my _ God.” _ Felix again, quieter this time.

_ “What?” _

_ “I’m tired of hearing about her.” _ He threw another rock.  _ “I’m tired of hearing about how much you like her, how pretty she is, how you wished she liked you back.”  _ Another one, with more force.  _ “Because that’s exactly how I’ve felt about you this whole time and I’m _ –” A big wind up, stepping forward a bit as he hurled a chunk of stone into the river–  _ “Sick of it.” _

(Felix and Changbin jump in their seat and try not to scream.)

_ “You… What?” _

_ “You heard me.”  _ Jeongin crouched down and rested his chin on his knees, staring out at the rippling water.  _ “I know you’re a boy and I’m a boy and I shouldn’t. But I do. I don’t see you as a boy. I see you as Hyunjin. And… I really like Hyunjin.” _

Hyunjin stood in shock momentarily, eyes not leaving his friend. Jeongin looked up at him and sighed, feeling the moment was over and got up to leave.

_ “Wait.” _ Hyunjin grabbed Jeongin’s wrist to stop him from going.

“Oh  _ shit!” _ Changbin this time.

They looked at each other silently for a good few seconds before Hyunjin engulfed him in a tight hug and quietly began crying.

_ “Hyunjin? Why are you–” _

_ “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Jeongin-ah, I–I had no idea, I’m a fool.” _ Jeongin held him back.  _ “I’m sorry–” _

_ “Stop, stop apologizing,” _ he said with a gentle smile. Jeongin let him cry and pressed his face against Hyunjin’s hair. “I’m  _ sorry. Really, I didn’t… I care about you so much and I want you to be happy. I want you to be with someone you love who loves you but, I was selfish.” _ Jeongin started crying, too.  _ “I didn’t mean for this, Hyunjin.” _

_ “Please don’t feel bad, it’s not your fault. Jeongin, I’m– I feel terrible. I just ranted about her to you without even considering that you might–” _

_ “Why would you?”  _ Jeongin pulled back and held Hyunjin’s shoulder, smiling a sad smile with wet cheeks.  _ “Why would a boy like another boy?” _

“Bro. This is starting to get personal.” Changbin pouted but Felix was quick to kiss it away.

“I know exactly why  _ I _ like another boy,” he says with a cocky grin. Changbin rolled his eyes but smirked anyway.

“I hate when you get flirty out of nowhere.”

“You love it.”

_ “You’re still my best friend, okay? I won’t let this change anything between us,” _ Hyunjin said with confidence before faltering.  _ “U-Unless, you don’t want to be friends anymore, which I’d understand.” _

_ “Are you kidding me? This whole time I kept it a secret because I was scared of losing you. I’m not going anywhere.” _ Hyunjin nodded and they hugged again. When they separated, they smiled at each other peacefully. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Hyunjin leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

(Felix and Changbin screamed.)

Jeongin chuckled, darting his eyes away and rubbing the back of his neck.  _ “What was that for?” _ Hyunjin shrugged, cracking a smile as well.

_ “I dunno. Just, kinda felt like it?” _

_ “You know, you don’t have to do that because you feel bad–” _

_ “I know, I know, it’s just… I know.”  _ Hyunjin laughed and Jeongin joined him and the scene cut away.

“Holy shit, that was  _ wild!” _

“God, they’re so cute, I hope they fall in love. Jeongin deserves it,” goes Changbin.

Everything slowly started resolving. Every loose end tied up and all was well again in the fictional world of  _ Even a Fool Knows _ . School was out for summer break and Seolhee narrated that she didn’t speak to Minho and Hyunjin the whole time. She worked on herself and took care of her younger sister. She got a part-time job delivering chicken and studied hard for the next semester of school. On the first day back, she was walking to the building by herself when two people startled her from either side: Hyunjin and Minho. They said they missed her and are civil with each other again. The three of them joke and laugh like the friends they should’ve been all along. Credits roll.

“Goddamn. That show was good.”

“I miss it already,” Felix whined. “Let’s watch it again.”

“No–” Changbin pinched his cheek and got a laugh out of him. “Part of what made it so good was falling more and more in love with you with every episode we watched together.”

“Oh my God.” Felix laughed again and covered his reddening face. “And you get mad at  _ me _ for being flirty. That was about the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” Changbin grinned proudly, flexing his bicep.

“Thank you.”

There was a knock on the door and a polite  _ can I come in? _ Changbin and Felix recognized the voice immediately and exchanged a nervous glance.

“Y-Yeah, go ahead.” Chris entered the room with a flourish.

“Yo! It got quiet in here so I assumed the show ended,” he laughed. Felix never understood how he was constantly in a good mood. It made him jealous sometimes.

“Oh, it was so good, you gotta check it out, hyung.”

“Maybe when I’m not busy with  _ school,” _ he said with an accusatory tone, sending stern looks to the both of them.

“This  _ was _ school for a while,” Changbin shot back with an eye roll. “What are you doing in here anyway?”

“Can a man not check on his baby brother and best bud?” Chan clutched his chest, obviously very offended.

“Sure, whatever,” Felix this time. “But um… while you’re here…” Changbin’s head quickly turned to his boyfriend’s direction, almost as if to ask  _ already?  _ “Can we talk to you?”

On the ride back, post-Changbin’s-breakdown, Felix admitted he wanted to come out to Chan when they got back. It was almost a question, like he was asking permission.

“ _ I know it’s soon, y’know, right after you came out, but–” _

_ “No. No, I… I want to know how it feels to be accepted by someone I love. Instead.” _

It hurt to hear, but it was all the motivation he needed and more to finally, finally tell his brother whom he really was.

“Oh, sure!” he said with enthusiasm, plopping on the foot of the bed with his legs crossed. “What’s up?”

A sudden fear took over Felix. What is he so damn scared of? It’s starting to piss him off, honestly. Especially after seeing how devastated Changbin was after his parents essentially disowned him. There’s no way anything remotely similar will happen. He knows that. He does. It’ll be fine. It’s okay. He’s got this.

“Changbin and I… Um, for the past few months. Or, I guess it’s just like, two months? One and half maybe? But it’s felt like–”

“Felix,” Changbin asserted gently, softly, carefully, just enough to bring him back to Earth. Quieter, he whispered, “It’s okay.” Felix cleared his throat.

“Date… ing. We’ve been. Dating.”

Silence.

Chan’s eyes widened, blinked a few times, and stared down his little brother. His head turned to look at Changbin, as if to get confirmation, and the latter just shrugged.

“Oh,” he started. Felix couldn’t look at him. He focused on playing with his orange fingernails as the sound of them clicking resonated through the room. “O… kay. That’s okay. That’s, fine.”

Felix broke into tears.

“Wait, wait, no– why are you crying?” Chan was quick to get up and move right beside Felix, taking him in a tight hug. Now in the opposite position, Changbin’s heart lurched at the sight and the sound, but he felt like he shouldn’t intrude on the moment. He settled for rubbing the spot of his back that didn’t have Chan over it.

“I don’t know, I don’t– I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Chan said with a laugh, rocking him back slightly, like a mother trying to soothe her crying infant. “You've got nothing to be sorry for, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Chan let him cry for a little, resting his chin against the top of Felix’s head. He tilted his head to smile at a nervous Changbin. “You’re dating someone who I know takes care of you. I have no reason to be upset.”

Changbin silently sighed relief and felt his muscles loosen up, smiling back at his best friend. Felix finally pulled back and Chan wiped his tears away.

“You look gross when you cry.” Felix laughed, the phrase feeling vaguely familiar. Chan laughed with him, ruffling his hair and placing a kiss on his head to remind him of his love and support. “You know, you two had no reason to hide from me.”

“I know,” Changbin and Felix said in unison, equal amounts of guilt in their tones.

“I mean, why wouldn’t I love my best friend and my brother being together? You guys make a great couple!” He sounded genuinely excited, if the wide grin on his face meant anything. He pointed a finger at Changbin. “And you  _ are _ taking good care of him, right?”

“O-Of course!” Changbin said, feeling awfully threatened. Felix chuckled again, always enjoying watching them playfully bicker with each other. “I love him more than anything, I only give him the best.” Chan gasped and clutched his chest.

“You guys are in  _ love?”  _ Felix scoffed, still drying off his face as he avoided eye contact in embarrassment. “My heart–”

“Oh my God,  _ stop.” _ Without thinking, Felix hid his face behind Changbin’s shoulder as his boyfriend giggled at his reaction.

“Stop, you two are so cute! Ugh, my heart is full. You have to tell me  _ everything _ .”

They spent a few minutes recounting their story, shocking Chan by confessing that they began in Australia. They were careful to walk around any mentions of their making out, Felix thankful Chan hadn’t noticed his vanishing but still present hickey yet. Chan treated them like he would any other couple. It felt so reassuring. Felix knew he had to thank God for blessing him with such a lovely family.

  
  
  
  


Felix’s foot slipped from under him as he tried to keep with the two siblings. It’s clear they grew up doing this and are veterans, but Changbin still reached out to catch Felix and made sure he wasn’t struggling too much.

“C’mon, hurry up! You can do better than that!”

His sister, however–

“Would you stop bullying my boyfriend for two seconds?” Changbin yelled back as she was already a ways down the trail.

“He’s a part of the family now so he gets bullied. Deal with it.” Changbin rolled his eyes but Felix was  _ insanely _ flattered by her comment. He had been so nervous to meet his sister; luckily, she was super cool.

It’s been a few months since their mass-coming-out. After Chan and Changbin’s parents, they decided everyone should know. Felix can still remember holding in his laughter as he listened to the phone call between the two. Chanmin said she had known he was gay ( _ “I’m bisexual, actually–” “Don’t interrupt me.”)  _ since they were kids, but she lost her mind hearing that he had a somewhat-secret boyfriend. Changbin talked about her a lot so he knew her approval was important. Thankfully, her biggest concern wasn’t that her brother was dating a boy, but that he didn’t tell her and made her feel  _ “betrayed.” _ Their banter is just as cute in person, too.

They found their way to a small clearing in the woods right by their childhood home. Growing up by the mountains, there was a lot of wilderness which made for a lot of entertainment for two little kids. At least, that’s what they told Felix. They said they would come to this area to play make-believe and, when they were a bit older, escape from their teenage angst. Felix adored learning about baby Changbin and how he was raised. It felt like they were letting him in to a very personal memory and he couldn’t be more honored.

“You damn city boys don’t have the slightest clue– Where did you say you’re from again? Austria?”

“Australia,” he replied with a laugh. “Sydney, to be exact.”

“I can’t believe you, noona, you have zero filter.” Changbin settled down on a large rock, Felix sitting right next to him as Chanmin leaned against a tree.

“Yeah, and you learned that from me, so you can’t say shit.”

They must’ve been there for hours. They talked about everything and anything. Chanmin revealed tons of embarrassing stories from their childhood, despite Changbin’s constant attempts to shut her up. She also told a few stories about their parents.

“Yeah, they’ve always been like… that,” she sighed, kicking a rock. The sun was slowly starting to set, setting a relaxing yet solemn atmosphere in the forest. “I mean, they raised us with love, but they always had their set ideas of, what was right and wrong, guess.” Felix looked over at Changbin who was toying with a leaf he had picked up. “They’ll come around, Bin. Give ‘em some time.”

He nodded, crunching the leaf in his hand and sprinkling the pieces on the ground.

“Besides,” Chanmin started again, walking over to Felix and squishing his cheeks. “How could they not when your boyfriend is  _ sooo _ cute?”

Changbin whined first the eightieth time that night.

  
  
  


“Suddenly all my sons are dating! When did you all grow up? Is my hair grey? Hannah, Olivia, you’re not dating too, are you?”

The couples became flustered and the daughters vehemently denied their mother. When they bought new furniture for their house, their father insisted they didn’t need such a long dining table. Mom made sure to rub that in his face when they nearly filled out the entire thing with the addition of Chan’s girlfriend and Felix’s boyfriend. One empty seat was temporarily taken by Olivia’s feet as she laid back in her own chair before inevitably getting scolded.

As Felix had known somewhere deep in his heart, his parents didn’t mind at all. His mother teared up as she told him how much she loved him and his father tried not to join her, instead expressing his support through a tight hug and a pat on the back. Felix cried again too. Chan who was eavesdropping also cried.

Felix finally got to meet the fabled  _ Nayeon _ that Chan was seeing. He’d already been talking about her nonstop  _ before _ they were dating, so you can imagine what it was like after. Their mom fell in love with her immediately due to her sweet hearted nature and kind smile. A part of Felix wanted to be skeptical of her– his brother only deserves the best! But there wasn’t a rhyme or reason to even consider doubting her. She got along with the girls really well too.

Dinner felt especially comfortable that night. No one was hiding anything anymore and they were able to be themselves, be the loving family they always claimed to be. Although, Changbin said he was nervous, as if Felix’s entire family didn’t already know and love him. It was still cute to watch his crooked smiles and fingers fussing with his hoodie sleeves (a hoodie Felix had stolen many a time).

“Weird, isn’t it?” Chan said to Felix as they stood together, watching Nayeon and Changbin crack jokes together.

“I know, I can’t let her steal him,” he replied jokingly. Most jokingly.

“No, not that. Well, not really–” Felix turned to his older brother, preparing for his signature philosophical ramblings. “How you and I both ended up dating at about the same time. What are the chances? Maybe there really is something great about Korea. And it still hasn’t been a full year here yet.” 

“Almost.”

“Almost.” Chan smiled, ruffling Felix’s hair.

It was kinda weird. The whole year had been weird. There were so many ups and downs but if it led him to where he was right now, he wouldn’t change a thing about it. He looked at Changbin from across the living room, the moonlight reflecting off his skin, the goofy laughter he knew too well, and it felt like it was the first time all over again. It was the first time he didn’t miss home. Changbin is his home now.

“Felix, look at this meme Nayeon sent me,” Changbin said in a frenzy. Felix shook his head but indulged him regardless.

“Hell yeah, I’m ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again THANK YOU all for continuing to reading this! this is probably the first time i've really pushed past writers block to finish a chaptered fic and i'm really happy with it! i appreciate every one of you so much, thank you 1000 times over
> 
> as always, you can find me on insta or twitter @noraeshua! big love to yall <3
> 
> (p.s. should i write only a fools knows by itself?? eye emoji x10)


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